A Son's Rite of Passage
- Vernon C. Lindsay, PhD
- 2 hours ago
- 3 min read
Love is an energizer. Seven hours after returning home from a conference in Baltimore, I drove to Yosemite National Park. With a cup of coffee in my hand and anticipation in my head, my boys and I left for a rite-of-passage experience.
We anticipated adventure. A bear encounter, hours of hiking, and an allergic reaction were not on the itinerary. Yet, the unexpected appeared.
The roads leading into the National Park have twists, turns, tourists, and reduced speed limit signs. Ignore any of the road trip’s elements, and you might kill yourself, your passengers, and the region’s wildlife. Accidents happen.
Give thanks; we arrived at Yosemite without significant challenges. After hitting traffic and circling for forty minutes to find a place to park, we unloaded our gear and started the trek to Nevada Falls. Estimates indicated the strenuous hike would take anywhere from 4-6 hours; we started with the intentionality to set a record.
I wanted the weekend’s activities to test my son’s strength and endurance. As a competitive swimmer, I knew he had the stamina to push himself. It was also an opportunity to tighten our bond.
Almost five hours after leaving home, we crossed the Nevada Falls trailhead sign at 9:58 AM.
We walked up, ran down, and sat to eat lunch at 2:15 PM. It wasn’t a record time, but the hike pushed us on multiple planes. In the time we had before checking into our tent in Curry Village, I reflected on the moment while the boys played a table game.
I closed my eyes in a lounge seat, and my reflection became a nap. The exhaustion from the previous day’s travels coupled with the hike put me to sleep in seconds. After I awoke and found the boys still playing, I started to reflect again.
For the second time, I led a separation excursion modeled after Dr. Lathardus Goggins II’s description in his book, Bringing the Light into a New Day: African-centered Rites of Passage. Goggins suggests preparation, separation, transition, and reincorporation are the four components of a rite of passage commemorating the moment of becoming a teenager.
Preparation happens from the day the child is born until they reach adolescence. From values and character to history and culture, preparation instills the fundamental knowledge and skills that a child needs to survive.
A trip mirrors the separation from family that is crucial to forming authentic identity. Whether local, national, or international, the child must leave the comfort of their home. It’s also important to tie the travel destination to a meaningful historical or cultural moment.
My boys learned about the Buffalo Soldiers and their pivotal role as Yosemite Forest Rangers. The Buffalo Soldiers protected Yosemite during the earliest days of forest preserves. We also listened to Bob Marley’s song, Buffalo Soldiers.
A ceremony and communal meal mark the transition component. Libations and prayers begin the occasion, and the child reads a letter that asks the elders/parents for permission to take the first step into manhood/womanhood/adulthood.
Reincorporation happens when the child returns to their community with new perspectives of their identity and responsibilities to fulfill a Divine purpose and leave an impact.
To learn more about an African-centered rite of passage, buy Goggins’s book, workbook, and card set. Like last year, I also created a video and uploaded it to our family’s YouTube channel- see below.
My family is reentering separation in the coming weeks, but let’s stay connected. Subscribe to receive next week’s blog post in your inbox, buy one of my books to learn more about the lessons I’ve shared with my boys, or inquire about coaching to help you create a rite of passage experience for your child.
I performed a marriage ceremony for relatives in the Chapel in Yosemite. It is a place of great beauty, with that amazing cliff of El Capitan and the very distant tiny climbers nearing the top.