Gift of Time
- Vernon C. Lindsay, PhD
- 24 hours ago
- 2 min read
All she wanted for her birthday was my undivided attention. Between moving logistics, writing deadlines, training blocks, and parenting responsibilities, my calendar is full. But I had to put everything aside and gift her my presence as this year’s present.
My wife turned older and became more beautiful this week. To celebrate, we had lunch at her favorite restaurant and walked around a nearby mall. It wasn’t much, but it’s what she wanted.
The time together is what we needed to reconnect.
I remember my friend’s pre-wedding day advice, “Don’t forget to date your wife.”
His wisdom, God’s guidance, and my consistent effort to improve as a loving partner have kept me married for almost sixteen years.
Despite the longevity and happiness of my marriage, I make mistakes. Like other husbands, I get caught up in life's busyness. Every week, my schedule fills with work tasks, creative projects, self-care activities, and parenting responsibilities.
I meditate, but I struggle with sitting still.
Multiple mindful practices help me manage life’s demands, but I can also fall into mindless routines. The discipline I embrace to keep myself healthy misses the signals that my wife sends me to stop. A yell, an exaggerated sigh, and the complaints indicate that something is off, but when I am in flow, everything around me disappears.
Ryan Holiday gave his 2019 book the title Stillness is the Key. He explains that opportunities flourish when we harness our power to stay present, appreciate the moment, and focus. Whether we discuss careers or relationships, presence is necessary for success.
Wives are crucial components of our lives, but we sometimes forget their importance. The masculine mantra, “I must protect and provide,” dominates our thoughts and behaviors. Stillness can enable us to do more for our families.
Sometimes, it takes holidays, a birthday, and in some instances a tragedy for us to wake up and change.
This week, my wife’s birthday served as an alarm and forced me awake. Learn from my mistakes.
Use this weekend to spend quality time with the person you love. Do it just because it’s a day that ends with the letter “y.”
You don’t need a birthday or something tragic to remind you of the special relationship you share with a loving romantic partner.
Too often we underappreciate the present moment.
While you’re reading this post, your time on earth is dwindling. Use the best of this minute and the one hereafter to demonstrate love. Your time and attention are the best gifts you can give to anyone.
Seconds and minutes hold more weight than your wristwatch can hold, and your eyes can see. Time is sacred.
Act now. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed for any of us.
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Where are the Lindsay's now, Dr. Vernon? My wife and I have celebrated 51 anniversaries. I remember daily to tell her I love her, more than once, and to show genuine appreciation. Our lives have been lived in unbelievably wonderful places, North America and soon again South America. It has been a fantastic journey together. Keep at it.