Safety, Churches, and Death
The church should be a safe sacred space. Love and forgiveness are among the core Christian precepts. However, in some instances, church leaders use scripture to justify their agendas and manipulate believers.
Netflix’s documentary, Death of the Pastor’s Wife, tells the story of Pastor John-Paul (JP) and First-lady Mica Miller. Episodes depict how Pastor JP preached God and embodied Satan. He delivered sermons in the sanctuary and abused his wife at home.
While the couple led the Solid Rock church in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, JP had multiple affairs. Young and older women responded to his false teachings and sexual advances. Through clips of his messages and interviews with witnesses, episodes illustrate how he twisted the Bible to validate his behavior.
Pastor JP misused the pulpit for protection. Here’s an infamous quote from one of his sermons:
His inability to control lust fueled sins and misinterpretations of sexual immorality he preached. My criticism of Pastor JP’s actions may come off as judgmental. No human is perfect.
I shouldn’t, but I do hold religious leaders to irrational standards of morality.
It doesn’t matter if the person identifies as Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Yoruba, or a Condomblista; I expect more. Regardless of faith, they help people live righteous lives.
Religion and spirituality can guide people toward liberation or enslavement. Their power tests a leader's character. Some pass and others fail.
As a preacher’s kid (PK), JP’s actions infuriated me. I witnessed my father preach passionate messages on Sundays and live by his words throughout the week. He assumed full responsibility for his leadership role in the church and respected my mom at home.
My father’s devotion, determination, and discipline directed him for over fifty years. Sure, he made ministerial mistakes, but adultery wasn’t one of them.
The role of a religious or spiritual leader is not for everyone. It requires special strength and ears to hear a unique calling. They must serve as a light in troublesome times.
A pious leader must become the boat that sails across dark waters.
While some, or at least one politician, abuses power by renaming lakes and sealing files with their sexual transgressions, a Divine messenger should be different. History and Pastor JP's actions remind us that some church leaders commit the sins they proclaim to oppose.
The challenges inherent in ministry do not grant immunity.
Pastor JP absorbed the power in his pseudo-divine position and discarded the moral obligation. Because of his actions, parishioners left, and his wife died by a mysterious suicide.
The church did not abide by its teachings and offer the social, emotional, and spiritual support necessary for Mica Miller and others to thrive.
If you’re considering ministry or need more context for this post, watch the Netflix documentary, Death of the Pastor’s Wife. It teaches you how people lose faith in faith-based institutions.
For more lessons that I’ve learned while navigating masculinity as a PK, read my books Critical Race Theory and Education for Black Males: When Pretty Boys Become Men and 82 Powerful Poems to Guide You Toward Healthy Black Masculinity. You can also subscribe here for next week’s blog post, enroll in a course, or inquire about leadership development coaching services.
Indeed where there is holiness, unholiness is always trying to enter in. In the Old Testament the high priest wore little bells on his robes; if the bells stopped ringing while he was in the inner sanctuary, the Holy of Holies, the people would know God had removed that priest. This video might be subtitled, 'When the bello stopped ringing.' We need to take God seriously.