Tyre Skates

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Six years in a country with more sand than sidewalks made my children appreciate concrete. After moving from the Caribbean islands to Sacramento, we visited nearly every skate park during our first few weeks. Before their skateboard and scooter wheels touched the ramps of Tyre Nichols Park, I read about its significance.

The city renamed the Regency Community Skate Park to honor Tyre Nichols, the 29-year-old killed by Memphis police in 2023. His family advocated for justice and asked Sacramento to recognize Tyre’s childhood experiences at the park. The Tony Hawk Foundation assisted in the remodeling efforts. 

Last Friday

Last Friday, the police who chased and beat Nichols to his death walked away from the most serious charges. They sold a defense indicating they followed police protocol, and the jury bought it. With five Black police officers facing charges, providing evidence that race influenced their brutal acts did not work.

I can’t begin to describe the challenges I had describing the case and verdict to my children. You’re here to read, so I will try. I stated the facts and couldn’t answer their questions.

My wife and I often have candid talks with our children about the implications of race, racism, and gender in the United States. Sometimes, the conversation goes well; other times, we leave them and ourselves confused.  

This is normal.

Children often have more questions than adults can answer.

We don’t want to transfer the baggage from our life’s journey to theirs, but we also want to foster the awareness necessary to survive in America. Failing to teach them about the implications of their identities does not prepare them for success. It encourages naivety or blindness in a world fighting to “stay woke.”

Why is this important?

School curricula may avoid culturally relevant lesson plans, but students recognize the gaps in topics. They resist by misbehaving. Some teachers respond with judgment and punishment; others will provide tools to develop their intellectual abilities.

Outside of school, our children must manage interactions with the police and other authoritarian figures. We want to teach them respect, authenticity, and integrity. The charge is high.

Back on the island…

Conversations about cases like Tyre Nichols didn’t happen as frequently in Antigua and Barbuda. Despite it being a beautiful island, it wasn’t paradise. Crimes happened. In social interactions, class, family names, and religion often weighed more than race on the sands surrounding seas.

The killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Tyre Nichols occurred while we were abroad. I explained these tragedies to my children, but I don’t think they connected or understood. Now that we live closer to these cities and sites of death, I wonder if it feels closer.

It’s hard

Just as it is difficult to verbalize these sentiments to my children, putting them in writing for you is challenging. My responsibilities as a father and social justice advocate compel me to try.

While my middle son played soccer last week, my youngest skated at the adjacent park. Skating and scootering are my children’s favorite pastime activities, but I don’t want any parks named in their honor. One of my more difficult life tasks is teaching them how to survive in a hostile world.

I’m sure Nichols was scared when he ran. Fear of the police should not result in death.

If you have children, have the conversations. You will make mistakes. Keep working at it, ask others for advice, and pray that you will eventually get it right.  

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