A Marathon Inside the Manosphere

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Dear Student Leader,

“You’ve got to see this.” That’s what she said. One week before the Modesto Marathon, my wife told me about the “Inside The Manosphere” documentary on Netflix.

Louis Theroux and his crew created the film in response to an increase in online content reflecting the nuances of masculinity. A friend of mine had recently introduced me to the term manosphere and its characters’ patriarchal preachings of hypermasculinity. But, before my wife said anything to me, I was unfamiliar with Theroux’s work and some of the men discussed in the documentary.

The sexist ideas expressed by the influencers "Inside The Manosphere” made my wife gag.

She suggested we throw away our children’s phones to shield them from the lethal messaging and dangers of social media. My masculine protective energy contemplated her suggestion for a beat.

Before I could act on the drastic decision, I had to watch the documentary.

Theroux illustrates how manosphere influencers sell extreme lifestyles to vulnerable people. Manosphere followers are often teenagers or young men looking for father figures to define “authentic” manhood.

Men in the manosphere subscribe to a warped version of stoicism, celebrate Trump politics, and abuse women.

On Sunday, when I stood at the starting line of the Modesto Marathon, I looked at the other men and questioned their affections for the manosphere. It took discipline and courage to train, register, and show up for the 26.2-mile race. One common teaching inside the manosphere is that “men keep strict fitness routines.”

As an endurance athlete and martial artist, I respect this component of “manospheric” values. The fraudulent financial products, shady services, and everything else they promote belong in the trash. However, dedicating time and energy to diet and exercise is part of how I understand manhood.

Is fitness exclusive to being a man? No. Any person, regardless of gender identity, can prioritize their health.

There are multiple ways to define masculinity. In my last book, I shared several definitions through essays and poems.

Men from the manosphere practice “one-sided monogamy.” Are you familiar with the term?

“One-sided monogamy” is an agreement between a couple in which the man is allowed to have multiple partners while his girlfriend or wife is restricted from similar pursuits. She’s monogamous, he’s not, and it’s accepted.

Hooray for the honesty, but there’s more to consider in developing healthy relationships.

Not only does “one-sided monogamy” increase the risk of unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, and diseases, but it’s also abuse. Consider the emotional ramifications of an unfaithful partner, and you can make a case for physical, psychological, or spiritual harm.

There’s a scene in the documentary where a woman displays the emotional signs of abuse.

Success in the manosphere includes lavish lifestyles, deception, overt displays of strength, and frequent sexual conquests. These values create political ties to politicians who specialize in lies.

As I ran the marathon and competed alongside women, men, children, and non-binary athletes, I thought about the teachings of the manosphere. I passed a farm at one of several painful points in the race. In search of a distraction, I caught the foul smell of manure and compared it to the beliefs of the influencers featured in the documentary.

The men use social media to share an anti-gay, antisemitic, anti-women, pro-materialism message. For fear that you might look up their accounts and join their followers, I won’t list their names. Because Siri and Alexa are always listening, if you say their names, their content will appear in your feed.

After my race on Sunday, my wife scrolled on Instagram and read a post aloud.

A notorious influencer shared the importance of discipline in one sentence and then questioned the sexuality of every man over 40, with fewer than five children. The message encouraged exercising and fathering multiple children to prove you’re fit to be called a man. #absurd

Within the manosphere, you will find clowns wearing masculine masks to hide their insecurities. They may have millions of followers, but many remain alone and scared. The women, cars, friends, bodyguards, and homes they surround themselves with are a front.

Truth, justice, strength, and vulnerability are pillars of manhood. Investing in activities that lead to self-improvement is important to achieving fulfillment.

As I shaved six minutes off my previous race and battled myself during the Modesto Marathon, I became reacquainted with my higher self. I did not meet the Boston Qualifying time for my age and gender, but I did not get dissuaded from trying again. Something in the atmosphere sees perseverance as central to my identity.

If you find yourself slipping into the manosphere, ask someone for help. Don’t be seduced by influencers’ lies and connect with others to form authentic relationships. Spend less time on social media and invest in activities that enrich your life and the lives of others.

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