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Scare Yourself!


Is Halloween a big thing in your house? In Antigua and Barbuda, people are familiar with Halloween, but it is not popular like in the States. Instead, the nation is celebrating its 40th Independence Day this weekend.

In this post, I share what I tell my three kids about Halloween and how it relates to you.

Antigua is not entirely in the dark when it comes to Halloween. In many of the local stores, candy corn and costumes are for sale.

Maybe your children are too old to celebrate Halloween. Possibly, you attend costume parties in October. If none of the above applies to you, perhaps you buy candy for children or keep your lights off to prevent being disturbed.

You will likely do something related to Halloween this weekend. It might be simple, like looking at pictures of your friend's kids on social media in their costumes. I’ve already received a few texts with pics from family in the States.

My wife suggested that we watch Carrie, the classic Stephen King horror film, on Saturday. I've never seen it, but she saw it as a child. I’m not sure if I have recovered from Squid Game and prefer to take the ex-pat approach to Halloween.

Ex-pats often adopt local customs and disregard many of their former traditions. Adopting local cultural celebrations is one way to immerse yourself in a new country. For example, Dia de los Muertos was huge in the community where we lived in Mexico. I participated in the parade, as documented in this entry's header photo and one of our YouTube videos.

If my children ask me about wearing a Halloween costume this year, my response will remain the same as in previous years. I will look them in their eyes and say, “I am happy with you being you.” If they push back, I will send them to their mother!

Part one of this blog entry’s double message is that you are enough.

We can always improve, but what we have is plenty to get our divine jobs done. Shifting perspectives of life can help with realizing potential opportunities for growth and development.

This Halloween weekend, make scaring yourself into one of the best possible versions of yourself a priority. Scaring yourself can be accomplished by taking five minutes to think about your mortality.

If you need a visual prop to think about death, drive past a cemetery and look at one of the tombstones. Don't want to leave the house? Search on Google coronavirus deaths in your age range.

One of my jogging paths took me by one of the largest cemeteries on the island this week. Someone’s friend passed away on December 7, 2007. Seeing that date made me slow my pace and think about where I was in 2007. I was in graduate school, struggling to determine if earning a Ph.D. was worth the process.

Fast forward my life fourteen years later, and I am grateful for everything that has contributed to my current place in life. I’ve had challenges and triumphs that have fueled every one of my accomplishments.

How do you want others to remember your legacy? Will others be able to see the ghosts of your passions and purposes in the work you engage in every week? If you’re not happy or feeling challenged in your life, the time is now for a change.

Like you, I have my moments of evaluating my work and its impact. I contacted a former professor of mine last week for some guidance on my university roles.

Whether you and I are talking about Halloween weekend or any other weekend, our best contributions to life thrive underneath the masks we wear for survival. A good life is full of complicated challenges, grateful reflections, and love.

We must lean in toward everything that is our lives and remain authentic.

If this blog resonates with you, leave me a comment, or grab one of my books to support your work with boys and men of color.


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